ChirpChirp

I’m supposed to be getting up in an hour and 45 minutes, but I haven’t been able to get to sleep yet. It’s probably because I slept in and then took a nap in the middle of the day, but I was jet-lagged (or more like car-lagged) from driving 11 hours, losing an hour due to daylight savings, and losing another hour from crossing time zones.

Anyhoo, while laying in bed, tossing and turning, and fighting to keep my eyes shut…thoughts usually pour in like water. They flood my brain until I can’t catch my breath anymore and I feel like I’m drowning in a pile of things I want to do, things I haven’t done yet, things I could do, things I could not do, things I could have done better, things that could have been worse, and all the other things that usually slip my mind without detail, but have somehow managed to find their way into my brain when I need to be sleeping most.

This was the case tonight, and it didn’t help that I went to bed post Gaga fest due to Alejandro. I just kept thinking about how far she’s come and what she’s done to get there. It gets me thinking…where would I fit in the music industry? What am I truly meant to do? How can I express myself creatively? 

And then this gets me thinking…I need to learn guitar, piano, spanish, how to paint, how to photograph properly…

Which leads me to…I don’t even have a piano…I need guitar lessons, I need vocal lessons to get my voice back into shape…speaking of shape, I need to get in shape…diet…excercise, read more, read all the books you’ve purchased, practice the metaphysical, not too much body and soul, maintain the conflict for your art, buy new clothes, go to music festivals, get job, how will I support myself after college?

Holy fuck…and this is just the tip. It’s a wonder I haven’t driven myself insane yet.

I made myself a little to-do list for today (must take one step at a time) (life is about how prepared you are when opportunity comes knocking at your door)…so we’ll see how this goes.

On top of all this, I must fit in, I only want to fit in, Parker.

So here we fucking go. lol